Leave a Legacy
- December 2nd, 2008My dad died 36 years ago this week. About 27 years before that, his dad died. It’s a brutal legacy.
When it happened, I was just shy of 3 years old.
My daughter is 2 years old. She’ll turn 3 on February 8th. Tonight, as I was hanging out with Tami, we realized that since my birthday is February 3rd, today is virtually the same day to Alaree that the day my Dad’s death was to me. The only difference is, I’m not dead.
So, why would I be so morbid as to share this with you?
Because I love you guys.
So much of my life has been redeemed by God transforming my fears into hope… even into love. And there’s a hell of a lot of room for more. I want to live as though today is my last – to live with perspective – to live meaningfully – to live with purpose – to live with commitment. I want to leave a legacy.
And, if you do… if we do… we get to redeem the losses – like when my dad had to go home. We get to say to our kids or loved ones the things that we wish we could hear from those we miss. We even get to remake moments that didn’t turn out the way they were supposed to. At least that’s the story I’m committed to. How about you?
I wonder what our stories could be if more of our fears were transformed into hope… into love…
How will you redeem your losses? Who will help you? Is it time to invite God into the equation if only to get a little help to forgive? Help to dream of a new life? Help to redeem the irredeemable? What legacy will you chose to leave? How do you want to be remembered? I gotta go kiss my daughter.
Today is a good day.
-Dane
Tags: dane sanders, i miss my dad
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
today is a beautiful and blessed day. You made me cry, and for that I am thankful. Your love and prayers are felt. Miss you and tami much.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:48 pm
WOW! Awesome Dane…thanks for sharing. It seriously brought tears to my eyes. My little girl is nine weeks old this week and I can’t imagine her life without her daddy.
Your blog reminded me a lot of what I’m reading in The Shack right now. Have you read it? You could have wrote it.
December 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Today is a good day Dane. I just finished watching Kung Fu Panda with my kids (again for the 20th time) and I liked what the grandmaster turtle said to Po. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why they call it the present”.
Today is a good day… Tomorrow you can start a new legacy with your kids. God Bless.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:02 am
Hope indeed brother!
Thank you for your joy… Truly a blessing to be close to.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:16 am
It is true that tomorrow is a mystery, but the legacy you have built already is evident in the children you and Tami have gifted to this world. Not only do you extend hope and love to your children, but also to your community. That’s quite a meaningful legacy, my friend!
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:20 am
This was beautiful and very well written, my friend. Very well said, indeed. We should all live our lives this way, every day.
“I want to live as though today is my last – to live with perspective – to live meaningfully – to live with purpose – to live with commitment.”
That will be my new mantra. Starting now. Thank you for sharing this with us and for your wonderful contributions to this world.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:21 am
Dane, I am sorry for your lost and pleased you have found a positive spin on it. The realization of the similarities could drive someone crazy but instead you make it a positive and uplifting experience. I have noted the importance you place on fatherhood and the joy your children and family bring you. I also understand the importance of images of parents, having heard/read the story of your own fathers photo. I do not do photos of me. My drivers license is IT! (I have some huge issue LOL) but your story made me take photos with my son, they aren’t on display but they are available to him… because each day I thank him for sharing his day with me, and I know the importance and significance of any day together with him is. Thank you for being inspirational.
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:28 am
So many things I have left that need to be redeemed…Thanks for sharing.
December 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 am
Thanks for sharing, friend. You are a gift to so many.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 am
Thank you for being so open and real…it is awesome that you shared this. It makes me admire you even more.
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:07 am
awesome post, my friend!! you amaze me more every day!
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:08 am
Thank you for sharing about something so very personal. My husband and I have two boys, 3 and 1, who adore their Daddy, so your picture strikes a chord with me.
December 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 am
thanks dane, great thoughts, great reminder, and great message….
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
We love you, and thank you for sharing this with the world. It’s easy to forget, in the business of our lives, that the most important things are those that are right there, waiting patiently for us to notice.
We love you all!
December 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 am
I don’t think its morbid at all. I think its SO important to live for today…because you don’t know how many more tomorrows there will be. Thanks for sharing your fathers story with us.
December 3rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Aloha Dane,
Let God in even a bit? That has been the single most important thing I ever did in my live. I let Him in 37 years ago and never looked back. The coolest thing is that if you really believe in God, He tells us that he as the perfect plan for our lives. This is coming from the God who created the whole dang universe. Just guessing He might know what is best for me better than I do. After loosing my parents this past year and with my son in a serious situation my hope, as is yours is in God. Thanks for this post and God bless you and your family this special season of reflection.
December 3rd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Thank you for sharing, Blessing and prayers to you and your family
December 3rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Oh my, what a post, thanks for giving me a LOT to think about! XXOO
December 3rd, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Thanks for sharing. So touching in every way! I’m so greatful for great people like you who share your life with us readers.
Now I have to go and kiss my 10 months old and just watch him sleep for a few minutes and whisper to him how much he means to me. Prayers to you and your family and Happy Birthday to your little precious ANGEL!
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Beautiful reminder, Dane, thanks. My new year’s resolution was to be intentional with all things in life. I think I’ll make that resolution again for 2009, as of course I haven’t exactly mastered that yet…. And happy birthday!
December 3rd, 2008 at 11:45 pm
You had just come to mind tonight, ‘i wonder how Dane is doing?’ Then I came here. Speechless. Anniversaries are powerful as I’m sure this one is this week, this month.
Thanks for saying yes to life Dane, over and over again. Thanks for all the unseen courage that takes and continues to take.
Forever in debt. Your friend.
December 4th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Hi Dane,
Thanks for sharing…Your post coincides with the last chapter of Fast Track Photographer (which I finished this morning) beautifully. I want to share a quote…I hope you don’t mind.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson-
life is sweet-
Kevin
December 4th, 2008 at 10:02 am
Moved beyond words! Well put my friend!
December 4th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Mmmm. Redeeming the time, because the days are evil… Ephesians 5:16?
=Matt=
December 5th, 2008 at 3:39 am
Great post! As photographers, we have the opportunity to capture the beauty of life every day through our cameras. Daily, I understand more and more the value each minute brings to us.
December 5th, 2008 at 11:34 am
WOW, what a day this is! I got my copy of your book in the mail yesterday and almost made it through the entire book in one night, thank’s for everything Dane. Yesterday was 19 years ago that I lost my dad to cancer, it was my 30th birthday, my child was only 2 years old as well, talk about the law of attraction in action my new friend!, god bless both of us….
December 5th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Awesome reminder, Mr. Sanders. Thank God you’re still here – leaving an amazing legacy.
-E
December 6th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Thank You Dane….What great thoughts.
December 10th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Thanks for the reminder, Dane. Indeed, we do need to live each day as if it is the last because we don’t know how many tomorrows we have. And it is only because of Him that our fears can be transformed into hope. I appreciate you posting something so personal; I look forward to meeting you one day soon. -ct
December 10th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Just joining the conversation…your an inspiration sir, so glad to have been able to get to know you. Thanks for reminding us all that everyday and every minute counts!
December 10th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Dane,
You are a true inspiration! Your family and you yourself should and I am sure is so proud of you, what you have done, who you are and what you can and achieve daily! I am sure your Dad and your Dad’s Dad also watch over you with great pride! You have left a legacy and continue to each and every day! I love your book, I love what you do for others and what you share with us all. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I am sure that you have a lot more life ahead of you to share with everyone!
Blessings,
Melinda
December 11th, 2008 at 9:04 am
I just wanted to thank you for answering my question twice last night during the Photomentor video chat! Something was up with the audio and I was so bummed when I couldn’t hear your response, so thank you!!! :) I also wanted you to know that I think you are brilliant and I love your book!! I took the pDNA test two nights ago and I learned a lot about myself and can’t wait to figure out how to apply it to my budding business. :) Like you did, I am still working my job, while trying to build my career. I just want to do it the right way and ensure that I am staying true to me and not lose sight of what united me with Photography in the first place…
I lost my first baby when I was 5 months pregnant. Ultimately losing her resulted in me taking up children’s photography. I was grieving, but it was so therapeutic for me! Those years were hard, but they formed me, they formed my marriage and only made my belief in God stronger. Years later, here I am. 2 healthy, gorgeous children, a wonderful husband, a business on the verge of greatness (I hope!) and so much to be thankful for!!! :)
Thank you for what you have done and continue to do!
~Holli True
December 11th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Thank you for your inspiring faith. In a world where it is easier to not speak about one’s faith, your words are a breath of fresh air. You have encouraged me to live boldly, both in my daily life as well as my photography life. I pray God will bless you for all the blessings you have given to me and so many others!
December 11th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Than you for your inspiration, it’s so important to bring God into the equation every day… Alan
December 13th, 2008 at 11:05 am
It is so moving to read everyone’s comments. I am so refreshed by the love and faith everyone has expressed. Dane, Kimberlee and I had a chance to meet you last night and while we were amazed by what a kind soul you were on first impression, it is confirmed even more by this post. We wish you the best and thank you for all your insight. Hope to see you again soon!
December 16th, 2008 at 1:07 am
Dane,
I just came across your web site and blog. I’m truly touch.
I lost my brother in a tragic car accident, about 3 years ago.
That one experience has forever changed the course of my life, but I have faith that I am on this path for a reason.
Thanks again for sharing.
December 16th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Today IS a good day!! We love you, too, Dane.
December 17th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Dane,
I think it’s amazing that you’re taking a moment to reflect on your life. Having a child is the most wonderful job in the world, and I thank God for giving us our wonderful, amazing little 8-month-old.
Your work is wonderful! Thanks for sharing. =)
December 20th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
This story touches me as much today as it did all those years ago in your class at Westmont. Your children are blessed, as are you. Redemption indeed.
I hope you and your family have a Merry Christmas filled with joy, laughter and the warmth of family.
December 22nd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
This is inspiring Dane. Thank you for sharing.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Dane,
I just read this post today and I want to say thank you for sharing this. One of my goals for 2009 is to be more deliberate in my relationship with my father. Thanks for the inspiration, friend. Oh and there is not a day, a moment, nor a second goes by when I’m not thankful for my spouse and two little girls. They are God’s kisses to me every day!